Chapter 9

9 
GLOBAL IUP WIRE SERVICE

UNITED NATIONS, N.Y.

The Special Commission selected to certify or reject the validity of the alleged Tomb of Jesus is prepared to announce their finding this week. Sources within the United Nations have expressed surprise that no news concerning the announcement has leaked to the press. Lax security surrounding the results of UN studies of all types has been a hallmark of the international organization since its formation after WWII.

The only statement made by the spokesman of the Special Commission to date is that the body has reached unanimous agreement and that the announcement itself will be as brief as possible in the hope that all interested parties will be able to interpret it in ways best suited to their needs, both religious and social.

UNITED NATIONS, N.Y.

UN SAYS TOMB IS REAL! BODY IS JESUS!

In a carefully worded announcement made today the UN Special Commission on the Matter of the Tomb of Jesus announced unanimous agreement that the Tomb held the Body of Jesus Christ. The exact announcement:

"The Tomb found in the Sinai Desert holds the Body of Jesus Christ. Every evidence associated with both the Tomb, the Body itself and other artifacts contemporary to His death supports this identity. Members of the Special Commission wish to thank the General Assembly for the great honor of having been selected for this exciting project. The Special Commission considers its mission complete, and herewith disbands."

The full notes of the Special Commission's inquiry are available in hard back form, nine volumes, from the United Nations' Information Office, New York City, New York.

LOS ANGELES, CA

Nobel Prize Laureate Horst Tillotson gratefully acknowledged the work of the U.N. Special Commission. Commenting on the release of the Special Commission's finding, the archaeologist praised both the thoroughness and high quality of the group's study of the Tomb. "Of course I am pleased that the Tomb has been verified. I was very confident from the time of its first discovery that it would prove to be authentic. I am also extremely happy that the field of archaeology has had yet another opportunity to show its value to a world accustomed to the vagaries of legend and supposition. I hope very much that everyone will benefit from this find."

Tillotson went on to say that he was discouraged by what he called the "rantings" of certain religious spokesmen claiming that the Tomb was heretical in the face of Biblical accounts. "These preachers must find their way to keep what is important, accept what is real and remember their calling. It is my sincere hope that the Tomb will become a bulwark of their faith, not a threat."

"I and my associates have been repeatedly and unfairly defamed by a small group of Evangelical pastors who have no ambition other than to turn this into a cottage industry for themselves and their television shows. This is the tomb and the body of Jesus Christ. I am an honest, hard working archaeologist. Everything in the Sinai is now a fact not a debate."