Chapter 113

113
UNITED CHRISTIANS FOR CHRIST HEADQUARTERS, TAMPA

Ruth found Martha on the balcony working happily on the nasturtiums. "We need to have a little chat, Oracle."

"My goodness. If you're calling me that, I suspect that we've got a little fat in the fire somewhere! What's happened now?" Martha asked, continuing her work.

"I think we have more than a little fat, my dear. One of our people in the U.S. Attorney's office has slipped us a little information. Something she thought we ought to have, so she photocopied it and sent it up the channels yesterday. I just got it." Ruth looked worried.

"Well, for heaven's sake, what is it?" asked Martha impatiently.

"The Justice Department is getting ready to challenge our non-profit status. Haskill wants us out of his hair before he loses to the Democrat -- what's his name -- in November. He's afraid we're going to issue a voter guide." Ruth explained.

"I've thought about how much fun that would be, but it's way beyond the boundaries of our tax exempt status. I would think that he would at least wait until we did it, but it must be legal if it's coming from the Justice Department." Martha reasoned.

"Well, Martha, he's going to come for us no matter what we do. And he's going to do it just as fast as he can get his 't's' crossed and get over here. Probably today or tomorrow." Ruth was speaking with a sense of urgency. "He's going to try to do the same thing to every one of our district churches. This thing will hit in every state. There's not much he can do to our organizations outside the country, unless he's willing to go to war."

"My dear sister, remember what our spirit guide, Xanatu Pushbellows, told us to do?" Martha asked of her friend.

"What do you mean, Martha? What are you thinking of?" Ruth asked.

"I'm thinking of beating him to the punch, that's what. If that awful little man wants to stick his face in our affairs, I say greet him with a fist! I've about had it with gettin' my ass kicked by two bit tyrants like him! And that especially goes for one other certain jerk like him out in San Diego!" Fierce determination was growing in Martha's face. "This guy doesn't think girls can fight. I guess he hasn't spent much time in the Old Testament. He damned sure doesn't understand the power of faith. Especially not the faith of women!"

"I love you, Martha. See, this is just the sort of thing I always wished I would do, but I'm just not cut out for it." Ruth conceded.

"You just get over yourself, Great Mother! I'm saying that on account of the fact that you are the Great Mother! It's time for us to shimmy out of these robes of peace and put the armor of battle!" Martha was on fire. "Will you please call the whole business council to an emergency meeting, right away! If any body's out of town, get 'em on conference call. I'll round up a quorum of the Synod and meet you in the main conference room in thirty minutes."

The older woman was smiling more than she could remember. In a parody of a military man, she raised her hand in a salute. "Yes, Ma'am!"

The meeting room was filled with nervous chatter when Martha arrived. The men and women rose to their feet as she walked to the podium. "Please be seated." she paused long enough for total silence to fill the room. "This morning we have learned that the Haskill Administration, acting through the Justice Department has started the wheels grindin' to strip us of our exempt status. We don't have time to debate this. We need to take strong action right now."

"If I'm going to be Oracle, this is the time to act like one!" Continuing, Martha spoke with a force unseen before. "These are the orders of the Oracle. First. Hide the money. Empty all of our accounts, leaving only enough to run day to day. Move it to one of our overseas districts. Just put it beyond the reach of the Feds. Issue funds to all of our charitable organizations, enough to keep them going for a while. The UCFC will keep every financial commitment we have ever made to every one of our organizations -- big or small. We don't know how long this is going to last, although I promise you not past November."

"I want the communications department to try to keep every one of our congregations informed. We need to divert tithes to the charities directly. The communications group can also start preparing a voter's guide. Print up a couple hundred million before we go out of business. You probably ought to buy stamps while we still have some money."

"I want our legal department to hit this thing like flies on a dead crow. Make those Federal crooks bite and fight for every inch they try to take! This is full time. Let's make sure they know that they tangled up with something that can fight back. Stall 'em! Stop 'em! Confuse 'em! Restrain 'em! Cease and desist! Get so many continuances that you'll need a freight train to bring 'em to court! Every time you win one, and I have great faith that you will, hold a press conference!" Martha thought for a moment, "Watch out for taxes, of course."

UCFC in this time of trouble!"

The group stood, applauding loudly, as Martha smiled, raised her fist and, gathering Ruth, exited the conference room. The Head of Security met the pair at the door. "We're moving you both to a safe house in St. Augustine. Its very close by, and it's very well fortified. It wouldn't be good for the cameras to see you being evicted from the headquarters."

Martha spoke first, "Thank you for your concern, but it would be good to have the cameras show us being evicted. When that happens we will move right to the other house, but I want the televisions of America to have a chance to hear what I have to say."

"Very well, Oracle. We'll be standing by at all times." the Head of Security faded behind them as they proceeded to the apartment.

"Ruth, we've got a campaign to start." Martha spoke evenly.

"What do you mean?" the older woman asked with only a dejected interest.

"I've decided to become President." the Oracle responded.

"Oh, my Lord! I like you better every day!" Ruth giggled.