Thursday, September 9, 2010

Chapter 116

116
GLOBAL IUP WIRE SERVICE

WASHINGTON, D.C.
The Haskill Administration has authorized a sweeping inquiry in the financial affairs of the United Christians for Christ. A Justice Department spokesman told reporters that the inquiry has nothing to do with comments by the huge group's new leader, Martha Stratton at the Anointing Ceremony or the organization's refusal to endorse Robert Haskill's campaign for reelection.

The filing by the Justice Department accuses the giant organization of monopolizing non-profit service groups such as schools, hospitals, clinics and day-care centers among others.

A settlement offer which would have divided the church into three independent groups was rejected by UCFC Oracle Martha Stratton. This decision was supported by the UCFC Synod of Bishops, the church's executive body.

WASHINGTON, D.C.
In a move considered 'extremely premature' by legal experts here, the Justice Department has attached all assets of the UCFC. The organization's sprawling headquarters complex in Tampa, Fl. was pad locked by Federal Marshals and remains under a token guard force.

A well-place source in the Justice Department speaking on condition of anonymity described the move by the Haskill Administration as shocking, transparent and foolish. "The UCFC has more lawyers than the Justice Department. Those odds are hard to beat -- especially if you don't have a case. The UCFC has never been afraid of a fight. They will dog those Federal prosecutors day and night until they finally wear them down. There are already over a thousand briefs scattered out in every Federal Court District in the country -- and some of those judges don't have the Mark of God. Pay attention. This is the first day."

TAMPA, FL.
In a short press conference on the sidewalk out in front of the now pad-locked UCFC Headquarters Building, Oracle Martha Stratton announced her candidacy for President of the United States. The move is interpreted by some to be a ploy to force President Robert Haskill to order an end the the Justice Department's investigation of the UCFC, although Mrs. Stratton cited no conditions which would make her withdraw from the race.

The Oracle, apparently with the approval of the UCFC's Synod of Bishops, temporarily renounced the group's tax-exempt status. Although such a decision will have a devastating effect on the group's resources, Stratton said that the work of UCFC was too urgent to delay. "Robert Haskill and his Mark of God judges seem to be winning right now, but I would still bet on us. This old girl ain't even started to fight."

The group promised a formal statement later in the week.