Chapter 59

59
GLOBAL IUP NEWS SERVICE

TAMPA. FL. In a joint statement issued today the nation's three largest Neo-Apostolic Churches announced the finalization of their unification plan. The Age of New Hope Ministry and the Fellowship of the Reincarnate Christ will "joyously blend" with the Christians For Christ to create a new denomination called United Christians For Christ. The Age of New Hope Ministry with more than 31,000,000 members and the Fellowship of the Reincarnate Christ with an estimated membership of 22,000,000 have traditionally held the second and third place in terms of size behind the giant Christians For Christ which counts a congregation of 85,000,000. The newly formed church with an active membership of over 130,000,000 will be the largest religious organization in the nation's history.

SAN DIEGO, CA. Asked to comment on the unification in the Neo-Apostolic movement, Pastor Buck Stratton of Buck Stratton Ministries had this to say: "I don't care what they do. It would be a real deal if a bunch of sinners could vote their way into heaven 'cause they had a big majority. But they can't. Lots of people don't mean lots of righteous!"

"They're lyin' like polecats anyways. They'd be havin' a good Sunday Service if they needed 70,000,000 chairs. Hell! They don't even have Sunday Services!"